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Is it easy to keep?

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  • Is it easy to keep?

    My friend has a younger brother and he's closeted gay. Their parents think that he's only bisexual so they're confident that there's a chance that he'll still be able to date a woman. It turns out that he secretly has a boyfriend already and he's having a hard time to stay "bisexual" as to what his parents claim him to be. If I'd ask you guys here, is it easy to keep things on the low, or is it time for him to officially come out as gay?

  • #2
    If it's hard for him to keep it that way then he should consider coming out, I'd hope that his boyfriend will encourage him to do so too. Let's hope as well that his parents will learn to love and accept him for who and what he truly is. And that is, him being gay.


    • #3
      His parents would be heartbroken should they learn that he is not a real bisexual but a closeted gay. He should stay as is and still claim to be bisexual. He could do some acting and date some women just to make his parents happy.


      • assHangingtight
        assHangingtight commented
        Editing a comment
        He can act as if he was dating his best friends, yes, female best friends that's what I meant, lol! He can fake it till he makes it just as long as he's boyfriend is aware of it too but I know that his boyfriend has always become supportive of him anyway.

    • #4
      Hiding is difficult. Making something which is not is difficult. So, when would he come out in the open. When would he tell the truth? It is better to tell the truth now and have a happy life than to keep on hiding the truth and live in difficulty.


      • StickStitch
        StickStitch commented
        Editing a comment
        How can he have a happy life? I bet he's expecting the worse already that's why he's still keeping it to himself and he's struggling to finally come out to his parents.

    • #5
      Ah! He is just on the circuitous process of coming out as a bisexual but in reality he is gay. Time will come that he will confess that he is really gay. You just need to wait for the right time. Do not worry. That time would come soon.


      • BreezeLoveTroik
        BreezeLoveTroik commented
        Editing a comment
        He's having a moment embracing his true self and soon, he will be out and proud. No one needs to pressure him whatsoever. It's best that he will come out when he's feeling 100% sure about it too.

    • #6
      It is his choice. If he wants a hard life, he could continue to be a fake bisexual. If he wants an easy life without hiding then he should admit that he is gay.


      • assWrytight
        assWrytight commented
        Editing a comment
        I guess he needs some support so that he would have the guts to tell his parents about his true sexuality, which is him being gay.

      • pussyDazzlingwet
        pussyDazzlingwet commented
        Editing a comment
        He's not having a hard life but he's having some trouble about how he would tell his parents. I'm sure that he's looking for the right time to tell them, especially if they're in a good mood.

    • #7
      Coming out is hard. He should keep it as a secret. He should remain to be a bisexual until the truth comes out. By then, he could already admit that he has been gay.


      • CumbersomeDirection
        Editing a comment
        Well, in that case, I'm sure that his family will know but still, they would accept him for who he is. What else can they do? It's 2019, people are aware that some of us are born with it, we learn to grow and slowly discover our true selves. Which is not a bad thing, it's a way of living, it is, to discover yourself.

      • Financial
        Financial commented
        Editing a comment
        CumbersomeDirection is absolutely right, I agree with every word she's said. At this generation, people are becoming more open about their sexuality which is a good thing. It's how they express themselves as individuals, I'm sure his family will be supportive of his decision if he ever comes out as gay.

    • #8
      If he's finally ready to reveal his gender identity, then I think he should come out already. But if not, then maybe it's better if he keeps it hidden for the mean time.


      • JackWabbit
        JackWabbit commented
        Editing a comment
        I think it's safe for him to keep his gender identity for the meantime, it seems like he's not yet ready to tell it to his parents. I'd suggest that maybe he can host a dinner and he can tell it right there.

    • #9
      It is not easy to hide your gender identity especially if you already have a partner. But what I can suggest is that, build up your courage and prepare yourself for the judgments that you may receive when you finally decide to come out. Judgments are inevitable but if you know that you are not doing anything wrong, then, you don't have to pay attention to those judgments.


      • SraAddictionAnnAccord
        Editing a comment
        Yes, he just needs to gather up his courage so he'll be able to come out to his parents that he's already gay and he's no longer bisexual. But I think it's already given that at some point, his parent has the idea already, they're probably just waiting for him to speak up too.

    • #10
      I do think that it would be best if he already comes out as gay. In that way, his parents won't be hopeful that he'll have a girlfriend someday. Also, when he finally reveals his gender identity, things will be much easier for him and his boyfriend.


      • kendikendall
        kendikendall commented
        Editing a comment
        You are absolutely right, you have said what I already have in mind there KatrLove. It's for the best that he will soon be comfortable living with his true identity.

    • #11
      Coming out is as hard as hell. So, my advice is to keep him low. He should not just come out if he is not ready yet. I have friends who came out early, but they repented on it. Or I do not know the exact feeling as coming out is not applicable to me.


      • pussySwankylicking
        pussySwankylicking commented
        Editing a comment
        Keep low until when? When is the right time to come out? When is the so called liberation?

      • GarnettThinBelieve
        GarnettThinBelieve commented
        Editing a comment
        pussySwankylicking I think that it's up to him, don't feel so pressured for him because it's his choice if he ever feels like coming out at the right time.

    • #12
      Absolutely not easy to hide. If he wants to come out then he should come out. Yes it's hard to come out of the closet and tell the truth but I'm pretty sure his parents would understand and accept him as he is their child.